Please, someone – anyone, explain to me the need for leaf blowers. I’m convinced there has never been a tool that causes such purposeless audible assaults with as much tenacity as the leaf blower.
The leaf blower sits in the top spot on my list of questionable human inventions, just above Saran wrap.
What is its end game? In theory, it should move leaves from an undesirable place, i.e. a sidewalk. In actuality, it is unnecessary, as leaves in air have less sense of direction than Daffy Duck’s beak after an encounter with Elmer Fudd. Where’s the logic in blowing them around willy nilly?
If the goal is simply getting the leaves off whatever surface they are on, wouldn’t a leaf vacuum make more sense? The vacuum noise would be justified. A leaf vacuum would actually SOLVE the problem instead of relocating the problem.
I do have to give the leaf blower credit though. It is one persistent little jerk.
“Thought you were going to get some sleep? Think again. This morning, I think you need a symphony of on-again-off-again engine revs and a sweet smell of hot grass and gasoline. Please enjoy my sputtering efforts to shake up fallen leaves and grass shavings to no end. Love, Leaf Blower.”
Well, leaf blower, you smell, you are loud, and you are a tease. My false sense of security when you calm to a low rumble shatters when you decide those leaves are better off spread all across the street, rather than in a neat, easily raked pile on the lawn. I always think you’re done, and you’re not. You will never be done. I will cross the sidewalk, the street, the WORLD, to get away from your powers and your blasts of invisible lawn particles that always make me sneeze. But I have faith that someday, someone will come up with a functional replacement. It’s not me, it’s you. Now please leave.